“M2 Inspired” is the new name for my weekly Monday Morning Inspirational series of messages designed to give your Monday a jump start to a great week.  Whether it be via the spoken or written word, the hope is for you to have a surge of energy and mindset shift (if needed) for a productive week personally and/or professionally.

On occasion, I will meet people that will touch my heart and move my Spirit. 

And in that same moment, I know I will never be the same.

That’s what happened when I met Billy McLaughlin  last week Tuesday.

I was visiting a local real estate office/brokerage near my home, showing up with the intention of learning more about the office, the agents and their culture/environment.

I arrived only to find a completely different experience.  Billy was there and he was ready to play.

Ever since Billy was 13-years-old (now in his mid-life years, as he would say), his dream was to be a guitarist/musician.  Music was in his blood and he stopped at nothing to convince his parents that they must/had-to get him a guitar and allow him to take guitar lessons. 

After teaching himself his first few chords and song out of a library book (his parents’ idea to test his desire and commitment to this supposed “dream” he had), it was evident that Billy was not going to fail, not going to give up.  He was committed.  He was ready to take the journey in this life to becoming a musician that sold his own CD’s, traveled the world and was well known for his talent.

However, what he didn’t know, was that his dream would come true, but it wouldn’t come the way he had planned.

In 2001, after making billboard charts with his own songs and several years of success, he was diagnosed with a neuromuscular disease, Focal Dystonia.  He could no longer use his right hand.  He could no longer play his own music.

Essentially, in that moment, his career was over.  Everything he had worked toward, everything he had done since he was 13-years-old, seemingly disappeared over night.

What could he do now that his dream/career was over?

Have you been there?  What would you do?

Maybe you had a job layoff recently and your career seemed to be over.  Maybe you had a relationship end.  Maybe you lost your house or are figuring out how to pay your mortgage.  Maybe you lost your retirement.  Maybe all of the above happened at once. 

Billy almost gave up.  He wanted to throw in the towel.  Can’t say that I blame him.  He had started to retrain himself to play with his left hand, something almost impossible to do.  Almost like a right handed pitcher retraining himself to throw left handed.  That doesn’t sound like an easy journey.  That doesn’t happen often, if ever, successfully.

I won’t recount the whole story here (stay tuned for later M2 Inspired messages for that), but what happened would be a stroke of Divine Order.

At his lowest point, he grabbed lunch at a local asian establishment to lift his spirits.  He opened a fortune cookie, shocked at the message that was there just for him. 

“Failure only happens to those who quit too early”

Tears instantly filled my eyes.  Billy’s message hit home.  How many times have I wanted to give up.  Throw in the towel.  Especially lately, as a new mom.  Or in the past few years since my mortgage company “failed”. 
“Failure” as we humans perceive it, can be a painful thing and hard to shake or forget, especially at a physiological/emotional level.

To see his smiling face now, one wouldn’t know that Billy, as a single dad of two boys, spent several years retraining his body to play all his own music with his left hand.  One wouldn’t know that he almost threw in the towel.  One wouldn’t know that he felt like a failure when his career was, supposedly, “over”. 

He now has gigs in India.  He now has sold more CD’s than he ever did while playing with his right hand.  He now has shared his story with thousands.  And what a story it has been and continues to be.

And this is just the beginning.

I thanked Billy for his story and sharing his journey with me.  For, we often forget about that transformational journey that gets us to our dreams - we only focus or hear about the destination, the wins, the final outcome. 

Billy’s story is a great reminder to never give up, no matter what.

Here’s to your Monday, to your new week.  Your new clean slate.  May it be filled with everything you require to keep going on your own journey, one day at a time.

WEEK #5 - LEG DROP

This is personally in my top 2 of favorite core exercises of all time.  No other exercise can cover your core as well as this one - physiologically, mentally and physically from your sternum to your pelvic/pubic bone - this one ROCKS!  I can’t put it any other way.

Enjoy!

“When life hands you lemons…..”

There are usually three ways people will respond to this one. 
A.   Look at the lemons and wonder what to do next - or what the point of having the lemons in the first place is
B.   Cut the lemons open, taste the sourness and scrunch up their face, maybe adding a few choice words in protest
C.   Get out the lemonade fixins and make the sweetest lemonade ever made

When my husband and I got off the plane on Wednesday, August 26th, landing in Minneapolis, MN, for our week long vacation.  We chose option C.

That was our response to the phone call we received that told us (on our first day of vacation no less) that my husband, Dee, had been laid off from his job, leaving us both wondering “what’s next”?  

One of the best lessons I learned from my sage Midwest family members growing up was to make hay while the sun shined, or otherwise, make lemonade when life hands you lemons - because you never know what the future held or what was next around the proverbial corner.

Instead of worrying about what the future held or what we would do about finances or complaining about the situation, we completely shifted our mindset and looked for the ingredients of that lemonade - the sugar, even more lemons and the tools to stir together and make the best lemonade as possible.

In less than a week, we decided to make the move to Minneapolis/St. Paul - to make it our new home - to be closer to family and friends in the Midwest.  On that vacation we found a new place to live and had four job leads by the time we got home in California.  The lemonade was flowing and we were overwhelmed with the blessings that were coming because of that.

Now, we still have a few lemons in figuring out the final move details and the unknowns of what our job situations will exactly look like once we get to our final destination….but we are enjoying the fruits and lemonade of our labor and are excited about those unknown solutions that will inevitably add to our recipe of sweetness.

Next time, when you feel as though life has handed you some lemons, know that whether or not you feel as though you have the resources for making that lemonade (and option A and B are looking mighty tempting - heck, we’ve all been there many times), remember this story I shared, for the lessons that we have learned in this short period of time are a great testimony to the possibilities that are there for you if you at least see what you can do - we pass that along to you with the hope that you’ll be drinking lemonade eventually too.   Feel free to share with me your recipe of lemonade - you never know how it might help us the next time we have some lemons.

PS  If you want to cash in on our lemonade experience, CLICK HERE for ways you too can have some of that lemonade!

If you haven’t already seen this on YouTube, here is week #3’s core exercise of the week!  This one helps give the “buns of steel” look, as well as tones the thighs, hips and tummy - all at the same time.

Enjoy! 

When I started running over a decade ago, I used running as cross training for my college basketball and soccer careers.  I had no running coach or any running mentors to guide me.  I fell into a pattern of running hard and training all out 100% of the time.  I had no idea the importance of wearing proper shoes, cross training, giving my body time for rest or any of the smart ways to train.

Needless to say, it only took me a couple years of overtraining (training too hard for too long) that caused me to fall into four years of being injured, forcing me to back off running for a period of time. 

What does training hard look like?

For me, it included things such as:

• not having a running coach/mentor
• not cross training or exercising other muscles with non-impact strengthening exercises
• not having proper shoes
• not resting enough
• not having a training schedule designed for me and my goals
• not eating the effective nutrition to fuel my body
• not being proactive with preventative health methods (ie chiropractic care, massage)
• failing to create a yearlong plan for myself (a.k.a. planning to fail)

I had to give up dreams and goals that I had aspired for simply because I had become imbalanced in my running.  Due to my own belief in that old philosophy “No pain, no gain” and pushing myself for so long, I literally woke up every morning in pain due to my ineffective training choices and had to accept the fact that I could not train as I wanted to.

However, as in every season of adversity, there lied that opportunity for me to make some life changing discoveries that I still benefit from to this day.

I knew I had to find different ways to train and healthier philosophies to embrace.  I discovered that training “smart”  versus training “hard” was a much better way to lead my running/triathlon career.

What does training smart look like?

Training smart includes balanced approaches of training for my body and mind, such as:

• cross training 3-4 times per week
• have the proper shoes for your feet - get a runner’s gait analysis
• resting one day completely (NO EXERCISE other than walking)
• core strengthening exercises a minimum of 3 times per week (can include yoga/pilates type classes)
• listen to my body and stop serious training if the pain level in any part of my body is above a 5 on the pain scale of 0-10 (with zero being pain free and 10 being excruciating/debilitating pain)
• training using the heart rate monitor method of monitoring my heart rate and not going above the anaerobic threshhold more than once per week - staying in the proper zone for me at all times
• having a running coach or exercise mentor on some level at all times during training season (ie personal trainer, coach, class instructor)
• seeing a chiropractor and massage therapist regularly (weekly or monthly)
• setting goals for particular races throughout the year and committing myself to a training schedule that is realistic for where my body/mind are at at that time
• scheduling an off-season time during the year - whether it be two weeks or two months - where I give my brain and body a period of serious rest/time off
• eating proper nutrition

Keep in mind, this list of approaches took me nearly 10 years to complete (not to mention a few injuries along the way to help me learn these lessons).  And your list may look quite different.  My hope is that my list will inspire your list of training smart methods. 

The most important thing to remember is that running/training of any kind can be a life long journey only if you train smart.  Training, just as in life, is not meant to be hard - it is meant to be completed with wise choices that make the journey all worth while.

And that is what life is all about - the journey.

That old saying “It’s just like riding a bike” came back to me recently as I got back on my road bike after several months off during my pregnancy.

The doctor had given me the go ahead four weeks after my baby Henry was born and I was super excited to get back on the bike again.

And that old adage rang true.  After dusting off all the cobwebs and pumping up the tires, I got back on the bike.  Surprisingly, getting back on my roadbike - one that has served me well over thousands of miles, several races ranging from Ironman Triathlons to 100-mile century bikerides and has traveled the world with me - was very easy.  I rode for 60 minutes that first day, over varying terrain of flat and hilly roads, with a great sense of ease.  My body responded well.  I almost felt as if I had never left the bike.  Other than the saddle sores (a cyclist’s favorite pain) I endured these past several weeks being back on the bike and in spin classes again, this experience has been liberating to say the least.  Swimming came back just as easily, as if I had not stopped.  Other than regaining some cardio and strengthening my heart rate, my muscle memory bounced back quickly with two out of my three triathlon disciplines.

I am sure you can relate.  Has there been anything in your life lately that you have made the return to?  Something that you love and just had to give up for a bit, whether it be for work, family, health or simply the craziness of life?  There is nothing better than familiarity and getting back into the groove of mind, body and Spirit - truly feeling connected with yourself and fulfilled.

However, not everything can be related to that saying.  Not everything is as easy for the body and mind to return to.  Not everything is like riding that bike.  Sometimes I get to be a beginner again and start all over now that my baby is getting older and my body is attempting to return to it’s triathlete status.

Case in point, I started running just two weeks after the biking/swimming routine began again.  I had high expectations that my return to running would be just as successful as the other two sports.  I mean, after all, my first love is running.  It should be easier than “riding a bike”, right? 
My body has been doing it the longest these past 15 years or so.  I was running 5ks, half-and full-marathons long before I donned that biking helmet or swim cap.

Yet, I was humbled those first two miles on the beach trail.  Actually, I was humbled in the first few steps of that beach trail.

I couldn’t even make it one full mile without huffing and puffing.  My legs weren’t excited at all about the pounding I was exerting upon them by shuffling forward with each step.  My heart rate went through the roof.  My side had an ache I hadn’t experienced in YEARS.  I call it the “beginner’s stitch”.  You’ve probably experienced it yourself.  That ache just under the ribs that makes it hard to breathe and caused me to walk a few minutes just to be able to lightly run/jog again.

I walked/jogged those first two miles as if I had never run a marathon or completed an Ironman Triathlon.  My return to running was anything but familiar.  Both my mind and body groaned at the end.  My face was red from the exertion and my heart rate took longer than expected to recover. 

As I leaned over to stretch my legs, they, too, groaned with disgust. 
“Why do you love this sport so much?”,  they seemed to ask.

Have you ever felt that way?  You decided to return to something you once experienced before with ease - whether it be a career, a relationship, a sport - and yet you found yourself struggling to remember what it was about that experience before that was so wonderful or so easy.  You realized that you would have to work at it again, maybe not as a true beginner as before, yet you weren’t going to get the opportunity to ease back into it without making a serious, concerted effort.  You had a new beginning.  A new opportunity to start over and experience yourself in a different way.

Already, in the past several runs I’ve logged, I learned three new things about myself in this return to my favorite sport that I wanted to share. 

1.  Nothing that I love (ie running) comes back easy once I take time away from it, therefore I don’t want to take things for granted as I am experiencing them.  I enjoy being a new beginner again.
2.  I’ve got to work at it every day in some capacity (no matter what) in order to get stronger and healthier in order to get the results I want.
3.  No matter what happens, I get to enjoy the journey and learn more about myself with every step, no matter how painful, challenging or difficult it might be - there will be rewards along the way in mind, body and Spirit.  

Ironically, these same three things can be applied to my life as well as running - whether it be relationships, my career, my new role as a mom - or anything that I greet that has challenges within it.  And with these three things I can definitely see growth and results in my life in a more meaningful way.

And for that I am grateful that not everything in life is as easy to return to like riding a bike.

Dear friends,

A special thanks to those of you that have been checking in on me since I took my new mom hiatus!  I finally created some time to come back to my love of writing after weeks of enjoying my new love of my life, Henry Michael.

I dedicate this to all moms out there.  Even if you aren’t a mom now, you might be some day or at least you have a mom in your family tree, and you may find some inspiration in this message.  That is my hope.
Or maybe, your mom is no longer with us on this earth and if that is the case, I hope this message can be a dedication to her great life.  I know you wouldn’t be where you are now without her.

Mother’s Day is fastly approaching.  Have you got your mom her gift yet?

This year I was a bit more proactive than usual and I already sent my own mother her Mom’s Day card last week.  I usually wait until the last minute and just go in on something with my siblings.

But this year is different.

This year, I am a mother.  Wow.  It still sounds a bit crazy to me.  Yet, as I write this, I am looking down upon my sleeping babe (yes, I know I probably should be sleeping too) and the truth continues to remain the same.  I am now, and forever always will be, a mom.  Life will never be the same.

I don’t know about you, but I never really understood what the life of a mom was like, or what that word mom really meant, other than just my genetic upline of my family tree. 

I believe that I took my mothers (for I did have more than one) for granted nearly my whole life. I expected my mom to be there for me.  To cook my every meal.  To kiss away every tear.  To bring me to every school sporting/drama/musical event.  To help buy my clothes.  To clean my laundry.  To make sure I kept my room clean.  To teach me how to be independent.  To challenge me to get straight A’s.  To make sure I went to a good college.  And the list of expectations goes on. 

And on. 

And on.

Yet do any of us really appreciate our moms?  Does it have to be only one day of the year to celebrate those special women in our lives?

What is/was your relationship like with your mom?

When I was four-years-old, my mom had a mental illness she struggled with and could not really be there to take care of us.  She left us at that time and I know all of us, my siblings included, felt that void in our lives.  That was something I rarely, if at all, ever talked about until my adult years.  I was embarrassed (even ashamed) to admit the truth for a long time.  Even after my Dad remarried and my step-mom took over five years later, I don’t know that I ever really gave her much of a chance of being appreciated by me.  The “Mom” role seemed to not be important in my mind and was definitely overlooked during my overly busy childhood.

But now I see it all quite differently.  If it weren’t for those two moms in my life, I know that I wouldn’t be where I am today.   Even if they weren’t there physically for me at times or if I felt they didn’t understand me, they were (and always will be) my mom.  I’m glad I realize that.  No one succeeds alone without a mom!  Heck, no one gets born without one.
Now that I have carried my own child to term, have discovered sleep deprivation as my newfound foe, have given up my triathlons for almost a year and even put my career on the back burner, etc., etc., I have found myself wearing a whole new set of glasses of a mom’s world.

Mom’s are pretty darn amazing.

Now, did you get that gift yet?

I think it is safe to say that moms don’t necessarily want a whole lot of impressive “stuff” for mom’s day.  Even if you just put a list together of your “Top 10 Reasons Why I Am Glad You Are My Mom”, I bet she would like that.

Or, go to www.shutterfly.com and upload your favorite picture to send her a nice card with your mug on it.  Or make a mug with your mug on it.  Moms can never have too many coffee mugs (I am finding this out as coffee helps with my sleep deprivation!).

Maybe even just a simple phone call will do.  Especially if it has been years since you talked to mom.  Let the past be the past.  Enjoy the present moment you have with mom.  You’ll never regret it, for you may not get too many more moments to miss.  You just don’t know what the future will bring…..

Here’s to Mom!  We love you and thank you for changing our diapers, wiping away our tears and all those sleepless nights (at any age we kept you awake).  Every day is mom’s day in our books.  You deserve it.

**A special thanks to my fellow writer/author and home town Iowa friend, Lucas De Koster, who now resides in Hong Kong.  It was his inspiration in his book compilation of newspaper articles, entitled, “Not Yet Home”, and his one amazing article on Lincoln that I read this past week, that inspired this article.   Keep that inspiration coming Luke! 

This week (February 12th, 2009) our country is celebrating what would have been the 200th birthday of the 16th President of our great nation, Abraham Lincoln.

I wasn’t alive at that time, however, Lincoln has been on my mind a lot this past year, really several years of my life.  Whenever I have felt down or uncertain about a goal, a dream or a desire, I always looked to Lincoln’s life as a great example of perseverance and unwavering leadership of self and others.

I believe Lincoln was one of the greatest leaders of our time.

When one thinks of a leader, often times they are the most educated, the most courageous, the most eloquent people that stand out in a crowd anywhere they go, right?  At least when you look at our past presidents (Bush 1 & 2, Clinton and Reagan), didn’t they come into leadership that way?

Leader is defined this way on www.dictionary.com,   Lead”er\, n. 1. One who, or that which, leads or conducts; a guide; a conductor. Especially: (a) One who goes first. (b) One having authority to direct; a chief; a commander.

Yet, what do you know about Lincoln?  What formed his leadership ability to make him the leader of our country in times such as the Civil War era?

Let’s take a quick peek at his life.  And while we do this together, I encourage you to compare your own life and your own leadership to Lincoln’s.

Lincoln was born to uneducated farmers in a rural area of Kentucky.  He came from very humble beginnings and reportedly only had 18 months of formal education himself, mostly educating himself and being a great reader of books on his own time.  There was no Harvard or Yale in his blood (in fact, his son Robert Lincoln was the only one in their family that would go on to college and it did happen to be Harvard)

Leaders know a little (or a lot) about moving forward inspite of what “others” think or say about them and where they came from.

Lincoln didn’t seem to mind that he did not have a big background in education and lost his job and was defeated for state legislature in 1832, then failed in business in 1833.  Yet he bounced back and still became a state legislator in 1834 in Illinois and a lawyer in 1837, where he began his charge againstly slavery less than 30 years before taking the oath of office.  Nothing seemed to stop this man from pursuing great opportunities to serve people and his state/country, in spite of a simple background.  He was fearless and never took no for an answer.

Leaders know a lot about failures (a.k.a. “setbacks”) and successes.

Lincoln would then go on for the next 20+ years to experience the death of his sweetheart, nervous breakdowns, defeats for Congress/House, be defeated for nominations and renominations, rejected as land officer, and the list goes on until 1860.  You can review his list of achievements as well by clicking here.  Yet, it was all of those “setbacks” he experienced, with a few wins along the way, that brought him to become the leader our country so desparately needed

Leaders never give up. 

Lucas De Koster points out in his book, “Not Yet Home”,

**When he became president, Lincoln had to deal not only with a rapidly fracturing country but also with a fractured party.  Several men had gotten their sizable egos bruised by not being chosen as the Republican candidate in 1860…..His (Lincoln’s) solution?  Name them to his cabinet…The men continued to feud with each other….and…privately complained about Lincoln’s leadership and dropped hints about replacements - usually themsleves….(Lincoln) steadfastly refused to keep grudges, absorbing the insults…at considerable damage to his own image and re-electability…

(De Koster writes) Leaders treat others better than deserved, sacrificing their own name to maintain harmony amongst the community…They realize that hate is rarely a personal matter.

One last thing I know for sure, there is a very eerie and striking similarity in many ways to our current President and “Honest Abe”.  President Barack Obama, also a man who entered the presidency from the state of Illinois (just like Lincoln), has been compared to Lincoln in many ways today specifically in the fact that they both entered into leadership as our country was enduring a nationwide crises.  Lincoln got to battle the South in order to keep our country together and abolish slavery during a very well known and well fought war in The Civil War.  Obama coming in now to save our nation’s economy in the greatest economic struggle since the Great Depression.

Ironically, because of Lincoln’s leadership throughout defeating slavery in The Civil War, our country is able to have a black President today.  Not many leaders can say that their effects are still felt less than 200 years later.

Leaders leave a legacy that impacts lives for generations to come.

If you are still reading this, I hope you found encouragement from this article. 

I hope it gives you a different perspective into your own leadership, maybe even leading you to think not “What Would Lincoln Do?”, or what would anyone else do for that matter, but rather, responsibly ask,
“What Would I Do?”

If you want some help or a free 30-minute coaching session to discuss your leadership skills and what you can do to keep moving forward in your own journey, let me know!  I’d be happy to help you discover that leadership potential you have within you.

Leaders also know that no one succeeds alone.

Here’s to you and your leadership abilities, because I know you have them and I know they are great.  Whether you responsibly lead yourself, others or a large contingent, you are a leader.  Every day and every moment of every day.

Yours in Transformational Success,

Lois Tiedemann Koffi

949-940-0399

Success.  This is a word that is often talked about, strived for and thought about on everyone’s mind at least at some point in our lives.  You might even find yourself asking from time to time, “Am I successful at what I do?”  Or more simply put, “Am I a success?”

I know, as an athlete, a coach, a business owner, a wife, etc., this word is something I use in my every day life on some level and have written about as a writer many times (my first book, “No One Succeeds Alone”, has it in the title for goodness sake).

Yet, what does success really mean to you? 

Or, have you even thought about it?

In my own quest in studying success for a living, I believe that success is a journey.  I once read online that life success came down to different variations of the word throughout the entire life span of a human being.   Here is what the report was for this person (source unknown):

“At age 4 success is not peeing in my pants.
At age 12 success is having friends
At age 17 success is having a drivers license
At age 35 success is having money
At age 50 success is having money
At age 70 success is having a drivers license
At age 75 success is having friends
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.”

Over my 31 years on this earth, the meaning of success has changed for me a lot (not quite as humorous as the message above), and I am sure it has changed a lot for you too.

Success for me initially in life was growing up on the farm in Iowa and getting all my chores done every day, as well as getting to school every day - I never wanted to miss a day of school.
Then success in high school was measured by whether or not I was one of the top five starters on the girls basketball team or if I graduated in the top 10%. 
Roughly the same measurement for success came for college, only then my success came in paying for all my own expenses from 18-years-old and on, getting a four mile run in every day and graduating at the top of my Communications department class.
Then, in my 20s, success was all about finishing marathons and Ironman triathlons at the top of my age group.  It was about making money and traveling the world, seeing the sights and adding to my picture books.  Having as many friends I could keep in touch with. 
Now, in my 30s, I find success is so much simpler than all the accomplishments I had the first 29 years.  It’s about being the best wife I can be, as well as preparing to be the best mommy I can be.  It’s about being the best coach I can be and helping/serving the most people I can.  It’s about hoping my mom can get into the best group home to take care of her health and that my family can all have great health.  It’s about talking to God every day and making sure I don’t get too far ahead of myself on my success-filled journey.

Success is less about me and more about the ones I love.

Think about your life for a moment - similarly to the unknown person in the message above and my own comparisons - and pick out your top  areas of success.  Or perhaps, the keys to your success.  Maybe just choose three areas of your life, or, if you so wish, go on the entire journey.  You might be surprised what you find, especially if you have never done this exercise before. 

It can be very motivating and thought provoking.  You might remember the athlete you were in high school and want to return to a sport again now, or maybe you already are through running or fitness.
You might remember the musician you were, or still are, and pull out that guitar or instrument and brush the dust off and play a tune.
Maybe you remember that you haven’t talked to that grandparent or family member in a while and want to see how they are doing, so you will give them a call or even visit them.
Or, maybe, you’ll desire to take some time for yourself and do something for you, because you realize that you haven’t done that for a while.

I believe success is a mindset and if you would like some help in thinking more about your success in this life and doing something more than just thinking about it, let me recommend one of the best books I have ever read on Success.  “University of Success“ by Og Mandino.  Whether you are looking for inspiration in business, health, relationships or life in general, this book is a good one for all of that and more.

I wish you well on your transformational success journey.  I believe that success is a journey and not a destination.  Where you find yourself on the journey, as long as you are consciously aware of it anyway, may transform you in some way - mind, body and/or Spirit.  I encourage you to enjoy the success-filled journey of your life in whatever ways possible!

Yours in Transformational Success,

Lois Tiedemann Koffi

www.LoisTiedemann.com