Success.  This is a word that is often talked about, strived for and thought about on everyone’s mind at least at some point in our lives.  You might even find yourself asking from time to time, “Am I successful at what I do?”  Or more simply put, “Am I a success?”

I know, as an athlete, a coach, a business owner, a wife, etc., this word is something I use in my every day life on some level and have written about as a writer many times (my first book, “No One Succeeds Alone”, has it in the title for goodness sake).

Yet, what does success really mean to you? 

Or, have you even thought about it?

In my own quest in studying success for a living, I believe that success is a journey.  I once read online that life success came down to different variations of the word throughout the entire life span of a human being.   Here is what the report was for this person (source unknown):

“At age 4 success is not peeing in my pants.
At age 12 success is having friends
At age 17 success is having a drivers license
At age 35 success is having money
At age 50 success is having money
At age 70 success is having a drivers license
At age 75 success is having friends
At age 80 success is not peeing in your pants.”

Over my 31 years on this earth, the meaning of success has changed for me a lot (not quite as humorous as the message above), and I am sure it has changed a lot for you too.

Success for me initially in life was growing up on the farm in Iowa and getting all my chores done every day, as well as getting to school every day - I never wanted to miss a day of school.
Then success in high school was measured by whether or not I was one of the top five starters on the girls basketball team or if I graduated in the top 10%. 
Roughly the same measurement for success came for college, only then my success came in paying for all my own expenses from 18-years-old and on, getting a four mile run in every day and graduating at the top of my Communications department class.
Then, in my 20s, success was all about finishing marathons and Ironman triathlons at the top of my age group.  It was about making money and traveling the world, seeing the sights and adding to my picture books.  Having as many friends I could keep in touch with. 
Now, in my 30s, I find success is so much simpler than all the accomplishments I had the first 29 years.  It’s about being the best wife I can be, as well as preparing to be the best mommy I can be.  It’s about being the best coach I can be and helping/serving the most people I can.  It’s about hoping my mom can get into the best group home to take care of her health and that my family can all have great health.  It’s about talking to God every day and making sure I don’t get too far ahead of myself on my success-filled journey.

Success is less about me and more about the ones I love.

Think about your life for a moment - similarly to the unknown person in the message above and my own comparisons - and pick out your top  areas of success.  Or perhaps, the keys to your success.  Maybe just choose three areas of your life, or, if you so wish, go on the entire journey.  You might be surprised what you find, especially if you have never done this exercise before. 

It can be very motivating and thought provoking.  You might remember the athlete you were in high school and want to return to a sport again now, or maybe you already are through running or fitness.
You might remember the musician you were, or still are, and pull out that guitar or instrument and brush the dust off and play a tune.
Maybe you remember that you haven’t talked to that grandparent or family member in a while and want to see how they are doing, so you will give them a call or even visit them.
Or, maybe, you’ll desire to take some time for yourself and do something for you, because you realize that you haven’t done that for a while.

I believe success is a mindset and if you would like some help in thinking more about your success in this life and doing something more than just thinking about it, let me recommend one of the best books I have ever read on Success.  “University of Success“ by Og Mandino.  Whether you are looking for inspiration in business, health, relationships or life in general, this book is a good one for all of that and more.

I wish you well on your transformational success journey.  I believe that success is a journey and not a destination.  Where you find yourself on the journey, as long as you are consciously aware of it anyway, may transform you in some way - mind, body and/or Spirit.  I encourage you to enjoy the success-filled journey of your life in whatever ways possible!

Yours in Transformational Success,

Lois Tiedemann Koffi

www.LoisTiedemann.com

“You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step” – Martin Luther King, Jr

Martin Luther King, Jr was a visionary far before his time.  He had dreams, hopes and wishes for himself, his race, our country and everyone he met.  And he wasn’t afraid to share those with the world.

This week was the observed holiday we call “Martin Luther King Day”.  How fitting that it is in January, just after his birthday, and just after the world set new year’s resolutions, goals and hopes of their/our own.

How fitting also that it happens to be the day before we inaugurate our first black President of the United States.  I can see MLK smiling now.

And with my own husband being black and my baby going to be a mix of both our colors, black and white, I can feel my son doing flips of his own in my tummy, excited for us all as we all transition through these exciting and interesting times of transition, hope and change.

King’s quote above, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase to take the first step”, is an inspiration to me as I take the first step in being a mom, a wife and several other titles this new year.  I share it to be a reminder to not only myself, but also to you, wherever you may be and whereever you may want to go in 2009. 

What this quote means to me is that you and I get to take the first step toward that goal, dream, resolution, intention, in order for it to become fully realized in its own time later this month, this quarter, this year or next.  You and I don’t get to see the top of the stairs, or the finish line, or the end result at all (if ever) if we don’t take that first step.

King himself took many first steps and won’t get to be there in person on inauguration day, for even his staircase didn’t go as long as some might have liked in the physical sense for his own body.  Yet, his dreams still lived on and are being fully realized now and his words still linger and inspire.  All because he wasn’t afraid to take that first step.

I encourage you to take that first step today, whatever that might be for you. 

Here are King’s words, that still ring loudly today from his speech so long ago, to keep you going.  Enjoy!

An Exerpt of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr’s, “I Have A Dream Speech”

I say to you today, my friends, that in spite of the difficulties and frustrations of the moment, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that one day on the red hills of Georgia the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at a table of brotherhood.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi, a desert state, sweltering with the heat of injustice and oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of freedom and justice.

I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day the state of Alabama, whose governor’s lips are presently dripping with the words of interposition and nullification, will be transformed into a situation where little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls and walk together as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today.

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight, and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed, and all flesh shall see it together.

This is our hope. This is the faith with which I return to the South. With this faith we will be able to hew out of the mountain of despair a stone of hope. With this faith we will be able to transform the jangling discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. With this faith we will be able to work together, to pray together, to struggle together, to go to jail together, to stand up for freedom together, knowing that we will be free one day.

This will be the day when all of God’s children will be able to sing with a new meaning, “My country, ’tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I sing. Land where my fathers died, land of the pilgrim’s pride, from every mountainside, let freedom ring.”

Back in my early 20s, I thought the most difficult physical, mental and Spiritual feat was to complete a marathon.

Then, after completing a marathon, I thought the single most difficult feat would be to run a personal best time of 3 hours and 10 minutes.

Then, after completing that, I thought it would be a 100-mile bikeride.

Then, after completing that, I thought it would be a 2.4 mile swim.

Then, after completing that, I thought it would be completing a 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bikeride and 26.2 mile distance run back to back to back in an Ironman Triathlon.

After that…..well, you can about imagine.

What I didn’t know, however, was the single most difficult thing that would not only change my physical shape, challenge my mental state and broaden my Spiritual stamina would have nothing to do with swimming, biking or running.

“Surely, Lois,” you are saying, “you jest!”

Nope. Not at all.

I have a confession to make. I, a two-time Ironman Triathlete, now yawn at the idea of completing another Ironman or another marathon.

I have found a new challenge that wipes the slate clean of all other challenges I have embarked upon and I am still in the midst of it.

This challenge, this confession, this newfound love/obsession in my life that has consumed my mind and heart and Soul each and every day for the past several months is named Henry.

Henry is this little person that invaded my body just over six months ago. He has been making his home in my tummy and growing there ever since.

And my mind/body/Spirit will never be the same.

In the mind department, he has adequately helped my mind transcend/alter itself nearly every week in newfound discoveries regarding fears I never knew I had, inadequacies and doubts about myself and my abilities I would have never dreamed of out on the running trails, where I was invincible and powerful.
“Will I be a good mom?” “Why did I have that bad dream last night, the one that still causes me to sleep with the light on?” “Will he turn out okay?” “Why do women have to go through this?” (In fact, truth be told, Henry has traveled with me to see my own psychotherapist a few times, just to make sure I don’t lose my mind!)

He has aided in my hormonal “shift” that has caused emotions ranging from tears to anger to anxiety - all in the matter of minutes. I believe my husband has reached Sainthood by now (I love you honey!)

Physically, I have never been more lacking in exercise in my entire life. Due to nausea, nightly vomiting (I still argue that they don’t need to call it morning sickness anymore), fatigue, indigestion and all that goes with it, I have been completely zapped of even my own Ironman’s motivation. My favorite quote from William Shakespeare used to be, “Bid me run and I will strive with things impossible”. Now I want to share one with William - “Bid me pregnant and NOTHING will be impossible”

Spiritually, Henry has brought me closer to women than ever before. I did not know of the “Club” that moms have silently created and want to thank many of the moms that have been a HUGE help to me in this journey.I’ve also grown closer to God than ever before. God and I have had talks - mostly me talking, He listening. At first they were a little heated on my end. However, I have given up the “why” questions and just moved onto the “WOW” - your creation is amazing and I will never understand how it all works. I just know that each and every day I understand more and more the purpose and meaning of life, as I prepare my heart to become a Mom.
It has been a humbling journey to say the least.

No longer will I think of myself as an Ironman, a runner, a writer, a coach, a speaker, a teacher. Right now I am living in the moment as a pregnant lady and mom-to-be, who, just like you and everyone else in this world, admittedly has fears and doubts about herself more than ever in this lifetime. Now I really do find new meaning in that saying “the older I get, the more I realize that there is more that I don’t know”.

Confessing these doubts and fears today is meant to encourage and inspire you, that no matter where you are on your own journey of life (pregnant or not - men included), it is okay to have those fears and doubts. Yet it is more important to reach out and realize that you are not alone and there are so many people in the world just waiting to help and journey with you.

Here’s to your own journey of mind/body/Spirit! Wherever it may lead you, know that it will be an exciting adventure with many surprises along the way. Some moments not so fun and others so much fun you will never want to forget, and you won’t.

Henry and I wish you the best!

As 2009 starts it’s first full week, I thought it was appropriate to focus on the things we can all do to make this our best year ever!

In going against tradition this year, when many of us focus on new year’s resolutions or goals at this time of year, I didn’t want to bring up yet another conversation about asking you what your resolution would be this year.

Instead, I am giving you 40 choices below that you can implement every day that could make a difference in your life (as well as other people’s lives).

Just pick one that resonates with you and work on it for a week or a month. Then add one more. You are not required to master this 40 point list over night. Remember, Rome wasn’t built in a day! And it takes 30 days to make something a habit anyway.

Happy new year!

And thanks to my sister-in-law, Corinne, who sent this list to me.

I wish you and yours the best year ever. I know this will be my plan for me and my family.

If there is anything I can do to help you make this your best year ever, simply email or call me to let me know how I can be of service.

1. Take a 10-30 minute walk every day. And while you walk, smile. It is
the ultimate anti-depressant.
2. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
3. Buy a DVR and tape your late night shows and get more sleep.
4. When you wake up in the morning complete the following statement,
‘My purpose is to__________ today.’
5. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
6. Play more games and read more books than you did in 2008.
7. Make time to practice meditation and prayer. They provide us with
daily fuel for our busy lives.
8. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of six.
9. Dream more while you are awake.
10. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants. Eat less food that
is manufactured in plants.
11. Drink green tea and plenty of water. Eat blueberries, wild Alaskan
salmon, broccoli, almonds & walnuts.
12. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
13. Clear clutter from your house, your car, your desk and let new and
flowing energy into your life.
14. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip, or issues of the past,
negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your
energy in the positive present moment.
15. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems
are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like
algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
16. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a
College kid with a maxed out charge card.
17. Smile and laugh more. It will keep t he NEGATIVE BLUES away.
18. Life isn’t fair, but it’s still good.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Don’t take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
21. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
22. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.
23. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their
journey is all about.
24. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
25. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: ‘In five years,
Will this matter?’
26. Forgive everyone for everything.
27. What other people think of you is none of your business.
28. REMEMBER GOD heals everything.
29. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
30. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends
will. Stay in touch.
31. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
32. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
33. The best is yet to come.
34. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
35. Do the right thing!
36. Call your family often. (Or email them to death!!!)
37. Each night before you go to bed complete the following statements:
I am thankful for__________. Today I accomplished_________.
38. Remember that you are too blessed to be stressed.
39. Enjoy the ride. Remember this is not Disney World and you certainly
don’t want a fast pass. You only have one ride through life so make the
most of it and enjoy the ride.
40. Please share this to everyone you care about. I just did.